Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
