My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
