How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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