I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
