i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
