when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
