I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
