I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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