The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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