Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
