You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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