She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
