Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
