She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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