The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
