I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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