I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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