I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I wish i was in the wii world.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
