So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
