Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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