i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
