didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
