he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
