The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
