I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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