puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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