hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
