try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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