You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
