Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i wish my penis had a tongue
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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