there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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