he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
