I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
