I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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