why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Quick, to the slutcave!
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
