There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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