My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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