it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
