Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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