Rock
Scissors
Fuck
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
