I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
did you just send me my own nude
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
