I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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