mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
