my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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