Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
