Don't you send me to vm
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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