Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
