he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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