When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
