I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
