He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
